The last couple of days have been a blast! To think I wasn't even that excited for my birthday!!! Was amazing!!! Had 4 separate celebrations (I know... too much... but so much fun!!) First one was last Sunday. My best Friend and I have birthdays about a week apart and the same group of friends... so we had a lunch celebration together (started at 2pm... I got home around 11pm), then on Wednesday, me and 3 friends went for dinner and waited till midnight... the whole staff came out with a sunday singing happy birthday and all.. was fun! On the day of my birthday, mom took me out for a special lunch at my favorite restaurant and then on Friday we went out ballroom dancing to celebrate with family and family friends!
I have stopped bleeding! It was a birthday gift! I managed to get all tests done and hopefully once I get the results, the doctor will be able to give me a diagnose. My myoma has grown from 4.3 to 5 cm in 6 months... Not cool, but not a matter of concern so far... Just have to keep an eye on it.
Monday, March 19, 2018
Tuesday, March 13, 2018
The Challenge
For the NF challenge, I need to have 3 fitness goals and 1 level up goal. I've been thinking about those for a few days now and I think I have narrowed them down to fit the 4-week challenge. I am still unsure of which guild to pick... They have all of these guilds depending on what you wanna do/type of activity... I am afraid I don't fit in any of them so I'll probably end up being a Rebel, which basically means you don't fit anywhere else!
Goal #4
So to the challenge...
Goal #1
- Eat healthy.
I get lazy a lot. When I get lazy I don't want to cook, so I order out. When I order out, it's always pizza or a HUGE burger with fries. That's obviously -not- healthy.
I am not following a set diet, but I do need to control my carbs and fat intake. Counting calories sends my anxiety over the edge so I will be logging the quality of the food rather than the quantity.
Goal #2
- Drink water.
I will drink pretty much anything... except water. I always have a glass of juice, iced tea or soda by me... or coffee.. tons of coffee... but never water. I want to get into the habit of drinking at least 2 L of water daily. I mean, how hard can it be? It is always hot here in Brazil...
Goal #3
- Complete my spreadsheet
I need to get in the habit of updating my spreadsheet daily.
- Weight log once a day
- Body measurements once a week
- Food log and notes daily
Goal #4
- Read a novel and a Science book
Over the years I haven't read as much as I used to or would like to. I have a HUGE line of books waiting to be read, calling my name. I have started reading the handmaid's tale by Margaret Atwood today and will start Physics of the future by Michio Kaku. I am a fast reader, so I believe that if I read a little bit every day I will be able to finish both books in 4 weeks (well, 5 really)
You will notice there isn't an exercise goal. I will do that as I can, but because of health issues, I am not allowed to exercise at the present moment. Hopefully, that will change in a couple of weeks and for the next challenge, I'll be able to add an exercise goal!
Saturday, March 10, 2018
*Sigh*
No gym this week... I must say I am bummed tho... Cant really lift weights and I haven't been feeling well at all. At this point I just want the doctors to figure out whats going on... don't really care about anything else.
I'm tired of all these health issues. It's disheartening to not know what's going on and frustrating coz in order to find out i need to get tests done... in order to get tests done, I need to stop bleeding... Blood clotting meds didn't work, hormones didn't work... so now we are hoping that just letting my body do whatever is gonna work. Stopped hormones and blood clotting meds... we'll see.
I'm eating healthy so that's a plus and hopefully can compensate for the lack of exercise. lol
I'm just tired.
I'm tired of all these health issues. It's disheartening to not know what's going on and frustrating coz in order to find out i need to get tests done... in order to get tests done, I need to stop bleeding... Blood clotting meds didn't work, hormones didn't work... so now we are hoping that just letting my body do whatever is gonna work. Stopped hormones and blood clotting meds... we'll see.
I'm eating healthy so that's a plus and hopefully can compensate for the lack of exercise. lol
I'm just tired.
Thursday, March 8, 2018
May the force be with me
Well, I had no internet all day yesterday and I hate typing on the phone... so... I turned to playing with clay to keep my mind busy.
I'm still not happy with his face... Will have to do something about that.
I went to the endocrinologist. He wants me to get some of the blood work redone coz he wants to be sure it isn't my high insulin levels that are making the TSH go up... if it isn't, hypothyroidism it is... let's hope not! He also prescribed this injection that should normalize my pancreas... It's sooooo freaking expensive tho! *sigh* He was quite pleased that I lost 2 Kg in one month, so there's that... continue with exercising and diet *Ughh*
I didn't go to the gym yesterday. I did eat the leftover zucchini noodles. but did have a sandwich for dinner :( I'm sorry!
Hopefully today I'll do better. I'm meeting my stepmom for dinner. I'll try to keep it as healthy as possible while eating out.
Tuesday, March 6, 2018
The beginning of a plan!
Until the start of the next challenge is here for me to bask in its awesomeness, I have decided on some very simple things I wanna start doing in order to start getting used to a healthier lifestyle.
- Fill in my spreadsheet
I have several tabs in my spreadsheet. A friend made it for me... I am good with excell but not -that- good. It is amazing if used properly... honestly! There's a tab for logging food and notes about the day, one for logging weight and measurements, one for comparing weight fluctuation according to the phase of the menstrual cycle, one for graphs (coz let's face it... who doesn't love graphs? -- Don't answer that... I'll be upset :P ) and one with weird calculations for a weight goal and how much should be lost per week.
Thing is... I only have to fill in two of those tabs and all the rest fills in by itself... It's like magic! Which means I am just lazy really.
- Eat vegetables every day
Well for starters I am a picky eater... there's that... So not a lot of variety on the menu... so I might get tired of eating the same stuff... But also I can't be lazy and go for pasta coz it is easier to cook, yanno? I did good for dinner today, tho!
Are you spotting a trend of laziness yet?
- Go to the gym 3 times a week.
No comments on this!
- Keep up with doctor's appointments and whatnot
At the present time, I am dealing with a couple of different issues on top of the regular stuff brought to you by the ever so lovely PCOS and Metabolic Syndrome. They are mostly hormonal. I have been to the doctor and have scheduled some tests which will happen in the next 2 weeks to try to find out what's going on with my uterus. I'm pretty sure I have the answer: My uterus hates me... that's the problem. My doctor doesn't seem to agree with me and wants to dig further. The PCOS and Metabolic syndrome are flaring up (mainly coz of poor life choices) and I will never hear the end of it when I go see my endocrinologist tomorrow, I am sure... Not sure what the course of action will be there... will know tomorrow and update.
I think those are the main things I am trying to get under control before the challenge starts and I am sure some of my goals will derive from this. At this point I count every little step as a HUGE win, so bear with me if I get super excited over almost nothing!
Yay me!
I'm still stuck on the first step. My day was so completely insane that I didn't have time to think about gym or anything else really.
Yesterday I rejoined the need fitness forums again for some accountability/motivation. Last I was a part of it, they were really supportive and made it easy to achieve my goals. I'm hoping that happens again. In 24 hours I've seen some new faces but also some people from 5 years ago...I'm excited! They have a 4-week challenge starting mid-March. I'll join that. I need to come up with 4 goals, three being fitness goals and one being a level up goal. I am definitely more comfortable with short-term goals.
Even tho I am still stuck on the first step, I can say that I am proud of myself today. I dealt with stress today by painting instead of eating... Yay me!
Sunday, March 4, 2018
The first step
It's so hard for me to open up and put myself out there like this. I have spent a few days thinking about what the best way to document my journey would be. Would it be best to just have a personal diary? Should I simply continue with my spreadsheet where I keep track of things intermittently? Well, here I am. I have a hard time sticking to my own plans. I get super excited at first when I come up with them and then it fades into nothingness after a while. I am pretty sure no one will ever read this, but it's a way to try to be accountable for my plans.
I was never skinny. I've always liked eating more than I should and food has also been an escape when dealing with anxiety. Things spiraled out of control when my father passed away almost 13 years ago. I gained 30 kilos in about 6 months and from then on it's been a constant battle to shed those extra kilos and control all the health issues that became prominent with that.
I have PCOS and metabolic syndrome. I was diagnosed with the latter six years ago. I can still remember the doctor saying that if I didn't want to have a heart attack before the age of 35, I had to lose weight so that all my blood test levels could be normal again. I reached my goal for a period of time. My levels were back to normal and I was healthy. Of course, I didn't follow through with things and I fell off the bandwagon and gained all I had lost.
I went for a blood test last Friday. I am unhealthy again. My pancreas doesn't work properly, which affects my liver and that doesn't work properly either. Cholesterol is off the charts and my thyroid hormone is up as well. I found out that whenever my insulin levels are up, my thyroid hormone follows suit. The only way I can get these to go down is controlling what I eat and exercising.
My pancreas doesn't deal well with carbs. I'm insulin resistant. Has to be a low carb diet. You'd think that would be simple enough, just do a high protein diet and things should be settled... Well no. Protein is metabolized in the liver. My liver is already overloaded at the moment (no drinking either!)... so as a first step that is not an option. I had my gallbladder removed a couple of years ago, hence a fatty diet not being an option either (and of course the cholesterol levels are off the chart). FIBER! I can eat fiber! What nutritional value is there in fiber tho? On Friday I freaked out. I pretty much cried all night asking questions such as: why me? why is life so unfair? Do I have to start doing photosynthesis?
Well, after talking it out with a good friend, I calmed down and came up with a plan, which brings us to this. My main goal is to lose weight. By losing weight my levels will go back to normal. How to go about that tho?
Exercise and diet. That's the only way. It has to be for life, so that means we are talking about habit change, not something that I can do for a few months and then stop. I've been going to the gym... Been paying for it for over a year, but started going in two weeks ago. I hate going to the gym, it really is a struggle for me to get up and go there...I have panic attacks before going, to the point of tears, but must be done... like brushing your teeth. As for a diet, yesterday I went to the farmer's market and got me some fresh veggies and fruits. I can at least eat healthier, non processed foods. That should help.
How to keep track of all that? As I mentioned before I have a spreadsheet where I can log my weight, measurements, food and if I have been to the gym or not. It also allows me to keep track of my menstrual cycle (I have a myoma that is being treated with hormones at this point -- still needs fine-tuning, I've been bleeding for 25 days!!!) and builds somewhat of a timeline for the weight loss goal. Counting calories leads to anxiety attacks for me so I simply log the quality of the food. I also decided to start this blog so that it isn't only about plugging date that no one will ever see into a spreadsheet.
With this blog I can write about the daily struggles, the small milestones, the setbacks and can be somewhat accountable for this battle. I highly doubt anyone will ever read this blog, but it is out there and that should be enough to make me accountable. I love life. It isn't always easy, but it is a nice life. I just need to get healthy so I can live it to the fullest.
You'd think that loving life as much as I do I would not fall off the bandwagon so often, I would not allow my plans to fade into inexistence...At times, I do ask myself what is wrong with me. I know what must be done, I have the power to do it and still, I don't. I have panic attacks about exercising, which leads me to binge eating comfort food (comfort food is never healthy food) which leads me to being unhealthy... I am hoping that being accountable for it I can break this vicious cycle.
As of today:
Weight: 91.3Kg
IBM: 33.81
Waist: 95cm
Hips: 117cm
Abdomen: 97cm
If you happened to stumble across this, thanks for reading!
I was never skinny. I've always liked eating more than I should and food has also been an escape when dealing with anxiety. Things spiraled out of control when my father passed away almost 13 years ago. I gained 30 kilos in about 6 months and from then on it's been a constant battle to shed those extra kilos and control all the health issues that became prominent with that.
I have PCOS and metabolic syndrome. I was diagnosed with the latter six years ago. I can still remember the doctor saying that if I didn't want to have a heart attack before the age of 35, I had to lose weight so that all my blood test levels could be normal again. I reached my goal for a period of time. My levels were back to normal and I was healthy. Of course, I didn't follow through with things and I fell off the bandwagon and gained all I had lost.
I went for a blood test last Friday. I am unhealthy again. My pancreas doesn't work properly, which affects my liver and that doesn't work properly either. Cholesterol is off the charts and my thyroid hormone is up as well. I found out that whenever my insulin levels are up, my thyroid hormone follows suit. The only way I can get these to go down is controlling what I eat and exercising.
My pancreas doesn't deal well with carbs. I'm insulin resistant. Has to be a low carb diet. You'd think that would be simple enough, just do a high protein diet and things should be settled... Well no. Protein is metabolized in the liver. My liver is already overloaded at the moment (no drinking either!)... so as a first step that is not an option. I had my gallbladder removed a couple of years ago, hence a fatty diet not being an option either (and of course the cholesterol levels are off the chart). FIBER! I can eat fiber! What nutritional value is there in fiber tho? On Friday I freaked out. I pretty much cried all night asking questions such as: why me? why is life so unfair? Do I have to start doing photosynthesis?
Well, after talking it out with a good friend, I calmed down and came up with a plan, which brings us to this. My main goal is to lose weight. By losing weight my levels will go back to normal. How to go about that tho?
Exercise and diet. That's the only way. It has to be for life, so that means we are talking about habit change, not something that I can do for a few months and then stop. I've been going to the gym... Been paying for it for over a year, but started going in two weeks ago. I hate going to the gym, it really is a struggle for me to get up and go there...I have panic attacks before going, to the point of tears, but must be done... like brushing your teeth. As for a diet, yesterday I went to the farmer's market and got me some fresh veggies and fruits. I can at least eat healthier, non processed foods. That should help.
How to keep track of all that? As I mentioned before I have a spreadsheet where I can log my weight, measurements, food and if I have been to the gym or not. It also allows me to keep track of my menstrual cycle (I have a myoma that is being treated with hormones at this point -- still needs fine-tuning, I've been bleeding for 25 days!!!) and builds somewhat of a timeline for the weight loss goal. Counting calories leads to anxiety attacks for me so I simply log the quality of the food. I also decided to start this blog so that it isn't only about plugging date that no one will ever see into a spreadsheet.
With this blog I can write about the daily struggles, the small milestones, the setbacks and can be somewhat accountable for this battle. I highly doubt anyone will ever read this blog, but it is out there and that should be enough to make me accountable. I love life. It isn't always easy, but it is a nice life. I just need to get healthy so I can live it to the fullest.
You'd think that loving life as much as I do I would not fall off the bandwagon so often, I would not allow my plans to fade into inexistence...At times, I do ask myself what is wrong with me. I know what must be done, I have the power to do it and still, I don't. I have panic attacks about exercising, which leads me to binge eating comfort food (comfort food is never healthy food) which leads me to being unhealthy... I am hoping that being accountable for it I can break this vicious cycle.
As of today:
Weight: 91.3Kg
IBM: 33.81
Waist: 95cm
Hips: 117cm
Abdomen: 97cm
If you happened to stumble across this, thanks for reading!
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